Artile by Toni Payne-9ice's
ex wife
Let me start by saying, we sometimes avoid those touchy
subjects because we wish to avoid “drama” but Cyber Bullying is one concept it
seems we are yet to get a full grasp on its consequences. Currently, in America
For the sake of time, I will try not to over talk but a
lot has to be said to make my point very clear so kindly excuse the long read,
(I tend to do that when im passionate about something). I know a lot keep quiet
to avoid backlash but hey, it is what it is.
There is this ”trend” of making vicious comments about
others that has become popularized by certain blogs. Overtime, its now seeming
like the norm, with more people appearing to see nothing wrong with it. We even
have corporate brands willing to identify with such sites irrespective of the
damage or harm they cause.
There is a blog very notable for nasty comments; in fact
more people visit the blog because of its comments than its content. The blog
is owned and run by a lady named Linda. Please keep in mind, I have nothing against her, she is a hard
working lady who has made a name for herself, but I also wont for the sake of
status not call a spade a spade. I am not singling her out just for the sake of
it, but she just happens to be the 2nd party involved in the issue I want to
discuss.
I will make my case based on my observations about her
blog or her (it gets confusing seeing as she approves the comments that make
public view so if she wasn’t ok with it, we probably wouldn’t see it). You are
probably asking yourself, as long as its not me being targeted, why should I be
concerned? guess what, it is all of our business because God forbid what is
being seen as “ok” now, may affect you someday.
Aside from being a simple to read source for news,
overtime, the blog has grown into some sort of “haven” for anonymous commenters
who wish to pour out the darkness inside them all in the name of commenting
about others. They have even taken it several notches up and attack each other.
Today, I saw tweets to the effect that Toke Makinwa was being attacked on a
certain blog. One of the retweets took me to the source and my heart was like,
something has to be said. If it changes something, fine. If it doesn’t, that’s
fine too.
What I noted was
that the past few days has seen blogger Linda hammer on and on about Toke’s Relationship
breaking up, or posting a reference to being engaged for too long, or posting
pictures of the babe calling it ”stunning” in her usual sarcastic style, and
allowing her readers do the rest. When I mean “the rest” I am talking about the
outright nasty, vicious, malicious comments posted about this lady from people
who do not even know her. Lets not
forget some past commenters who would even claim to know the subject personally
and proceed to post “personal” information about the person.. if they are lies,
we do not know, but we still get to watch the defamation go on and all these
are approved by the blog owner.
Toke may not say anything because she wishes to appear
strong and non chalant, but damn, she isn’t made of steel and has blood in her
veins and emotions like we all do. Last time I checked, most people that have
been a victim of cyber bullying such as this are human too. Also, there is no
age restriction on these blogs so your kids are reading and learning. To those
who make these comments its “fun”, but when does fun turn into torment and
emotional abuse?
Toke and I are not close friends so I have nothing to gain
from defending her except calling a spade a spade. Everything beyond and above
this point is my opinion and analysis of the situation. If I am wrong, my
apologies in advance but I seriously doubt ill be far from the truth.
In my opinion I feel she(Linda) put Toke under the “hate”
radar simply because she(Toke) made a statement on her radio show that “Linda
was not a role model” (HERE)
Linda took it very personal because she took to her blog
to post one long epistle about bla bla bla (HERE).
After that, its been Toke this, Toke that, knowing full
well the type of readers she has and the type of comments it will generate (its
like the same olD thing, different person).. ahh ahhh.
If Toke doesn’t see Linda as a role mode, She (Toke) is
entitled to her opinion and as long as she was not abusive when she said it, I
see no harm in that. So why take it so personal to the point of being
vindictive? You see, the irony in the comment Toke made is that, by constantly
putting her under attack from her readers, she is indirectly proving Toke
right. I sure as hell would not want my child seeing someone who promotes hate
as a role model and I am sure neither would you. Like I said, this trend did
not start today, its been ongoing and has easily become what her blog is known
for. Lets not get into the “Failed Model” comment from Tonto Dike that got
Tonto 1st place “lets verbally bash her” position. At least Tonto can rest
small as it seems Toke is the hot new “lets verbally bash her” in town.
If someone is having personal issues, offer words of
support and move on, if she likes going to parties, free her because she is
using her legs and not yours. If she wants to vlog about her life, take what
you can from it and keep it moving. Try and distinct constructive comments from
vicious ones. Try to distinct funny from wicked.
From the little I know about her, Toke Makinwa is a sweet
lady. She is friendly, funny and down to earth so it leaves me wondering, what
all these people raining hurtful abuses about her stand to gain. Even if she is
not all these things, if they don’t know her personally, what do they stand to
gain? You want to know the answer? Absolutely NOTHING!. They comment, laugh,
and move on. To them its entertainment but to the person who is being picked
on, its not close to funny. When it becomes a family member, its not close to
funny. If it is your child someday, it will not be close to funny.
With that said, I hope people search their conscience
before they comment. If not, no problem. We can’t see you as anonymous but God
knows how its going down. Please keep in mind, I know some will try to make a
mountain out of a molehill about what I just wrote no be today una don dey do
am, I will not engage you so don’t waste your time. ps:Its easy to say American blogs do it to,
but I ask, why must we copy the negative
Lastly if Linda decides to post another one of her
“epistles” simply because I have said something a lot of people who smile in
her face and a lot of celebrities, say behind her back. Its all good, free
world. I write not to offend anyone. I understand that the truth can sometimes
be a bitter pill to swallow. All the same, its all love.
I have had some deep discussions about this wieht a few
big name celebrities and hopefully, as the years progress, something can be
done to see a big reduction in cyber bullying. Lets aspire to love more and
hate less.
sorry for the long post, if there are any typos or
grammatical errors, sorry for that too.
God Bless
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