I don’t need to
hide my identity anymore, as my church members and others are already aware of
this development. I am based in the United Kingdom and a member of the Redeemed
Christian Church of God here in the UK. I am a 24-year-old Nigerian girl. I
have lived in the UK for over five years, running into my 6th year already.
However, as it is generally held, “life is not always smooth and straight” I
understand that life, most of the time is full of ‘zig and zag’ just like it’s
characterized with ups and downs. My story is not different after all. I have
had my good times too, and I consider this time as my most trying moment.
I am writing this
note, not exactly because I regret my action of taking full control of a married
Pastor, but because I have sensed something that is really not going to work
for me in the most positive way, if I keep this pregnancy. I don’t regret my
action because I understand that pastors too are human beings, and have the
same feelings like the rest of us. He slept with me, got me impregnated; so
what?
However, a little
of the background will give you an insight into how it all started. I
understand that as human beings, we cannot cheat nature. I’m one of the
Choristers in the church, and there is this magnet that pulls the pastor and I
together. It is like a magnetic force. However, he had explained to me in the
most pathetic way one day on how the wife had starved him of sex for months all
in the name of spirituality. He only said that passively anyway. He also
complained bitterly, while I listened with superlative attention on how the
wife hardly ever satisfy him on bed. I actually wanted to satisfy him, as I’m
such an emotional and considerate person. I am very sure God won’t judge me
negatively because of my kind gesture. I only tried to satisfy a man who was
dying of hunger, he was been starved of sex and I had to leave spirituality
behind to get him satisfied.
I remember how it
all started, and like a Hollywood movie, the scenes reeled from one to the
other and we had our fun in different hotels after every church meeting. I must
always wait for the Pastor who will convey me to my house. After all, he is a
pastor, and no one would suspect that any ‘dirty’ romance was going on between
us. He confessed that I had made him feel like a woman, and I was just proud of
myself. I will always node in exhilaration knowing very well that if I can
satisfy another man, then I can satisfy my man. This is something every young
lady should be proud of. I am not trying to patronize my action, but only being
reasonable about some sensitive sexual matters.
Yes, we did, and
since then, I have been excommunicated from the church. In fact, the whole
thing remained secret until he got me impregnated, and I confronted him for an
abortion. To my consternation, he refuted my suggestion; he wanted me to keep
the baby. I had moved against it. I had given him reasons why I shouldn’t keep
the baby. I don’t want to jeopardize my dream of getting married at the age of
26 which is just less than a year. I told him that I must get rid of the baby.
But he has vowed to sue me if I do. He is happy that at least what he had
waited for endlessly since he got married in 2000 has come to fruition as God
has finally opened the doors through me. Yes, he never had a child since he got
married, and age is really not on his side. I can’t get his words off my head;
“ I want this baby like yesterday” he said.
This disagreement
has put me in the public glare today as my close friends whom I divulged the
situation to, had reported the matter to the church committee, and I have since
been excommunicated. Everybody talks about me as if I have done something so
strange. My concern really is not about what people are saying but to get a
little piece of your advice on whether I should keep the baby against my wish,
or go for an abortion. I know what I want but I still need your advice in order
to justify the action I’m about to take. In the next five days, I should be
able to take a major decision. Thank you for publishing my story.
No comments:
Post a Comment